US restaurant etiquette for visitors from Europe

US restaurants run on a few customs that surprise visitors from Europe: tap water arrives free and with ice, soft drinks are often refilled at no charge, servers check on you often, the check may come before you ask for it, portions are large, and taking leftovers home is normal. Add tax and a tip of around 20 percent to every sit-down meal and you will fit right in.

Do you have to wait to be seated?

At most sit-down restaurants, yes. A host at the entrance seats you, so wait by the door or the host stand rather than choosing a table. A sign saying "please seat yourself" means you can sit anywhere. At counters, cafés and fast-casual places, you order and pay first, then find a seat.

Is tap water free in US restaurants?

Yes. A glass of tap water is often brought to the table without asking, it is free, and it is refilled throughout the meal. It usually comes with plenty of ice, as do most cold drinks. If you prefer no ice, just ask: "No ice, please" is a normal request. Bottled or sparkling water is available at many places but costs extra, so say "tap water" if that is what you want.

Are drink refills free?

At many casual restaurants and diners, soft drinks, iced tea and filtered coffee come with free refills. The server may top you up without asking. Refills on alcohol, juice, specialty coffee and bottled drinks are not free. If you are unsure, ask whether refills are included.

Why does the server keep checking on you?

Attentive service is the norm. Servers typically check in shortly after the food arrives and again during the meal. This is meant as good service, not as pressure to hurry. In much of Europe you wave a server over when you need something. In the US you can do that too, but you will often not need to. If you would rather be left alone to talk, a friendly "we are all set, thank you" is understood and will not offend anyone. Servers are tipped on the experience, so most will take the hint and come back only when you look up.

Why does the check come before you ask for it?

In much of Europe, bringing the check before the guest asks is considered rude, as if you are being told to leave. In the US, servers usually bring the check when it seems you have finished eating. It is a convenience, not a request to go. You can stay a while, especially when the restaurant is not busy. If the check has not arrived, catch your server's eye and ask for the check. In a busy restaurant with people waiting, it is polite not to stay at the table too long after paying.

How do you pay and tip at the table?

The server takes your card to the register or brings a handheld terminal. With a paper check, you write the tip and the total on the slip and sign it. On a terminal, choose a suggested percentage or enter a custom amount. A tip of 18 to 20 percent of the pre-tax total is normal at a sit-down restaurant. Remember that menu prices exclude sales tax, and some restaurants add service or card fees, so check the total before you tip.

Why are portions so big, and can you take leftovers home?

US portions are generous, often enough for two meals. Taking home what you do not finish is completely normal. Ask for a to-go box or say "Could I get a box for this?" Many restaurants are also happy for people to share a main course or order several appetizers instead.

What other customs should European visitors know?

• Smoking: many states and cities ban smoking inside restaurants and bars. Look for designated areas outside.
• Alcohol: the drinking age is 21, and you may be asked for ID even if you are clearly older. Carry a passport or photo ID.
• Ordering changes: asking for dressing on the side or swapping a side dish is common and not rude.
• Takeout: food to take home is called takeout or to-go.
• The bathroom: ask for the restroom or bathroom rather than the toilet.

When do Americans eat?

Mealtimes are earlier than in much of southern Europe. Many people eat lunch around noon and dinner between about 6 and 8 in the evening, and in smaller towns some kitchens close by 9. Big cities have later options, but booking a table for 10 in the evening can be harder than in Madrid or Rome. Weekend brunch, a late breakfast served into the early afternoon, is popular in cities and often busy, so expect a wait or book ahead.

How do you find good places to eat as a visitor?

Ask locals, walk a few blocks away from the major sights, and look for places full of people who live nearby. Mosey lets you rate the places you ate at and the dishes you ordered, with photos, follow friends to see where they went, and keep a list of places to try on your trip.

More guides to read next:

• How restaurant health inspections and grades work in US cities
• Why the price on a US menu is not what you pay
• Park City and Ogden food guide: two Utah mountain towns

More in the US food guides and the ranked lists of places.